Work/ School Balance

As everyone can tell, I’m busy. I have school, work, and I’m in the process of getting a house. All three individually are hard, but you put them all together and I’m at the point where I don’t have much to give anymore. I’ve had some people wonder how I’m still standing and holding on. The answer, I just keep moving. I keep going. Have I had a few moments of a breakdown? I think something would be wrong with me if I didn’t.

My house stuff has gone back to waiting. Waiting for the septic to be installed. Waiting for the well permit. Waiting for the house to come in. Just waiting. It seems either everything is happening at once, or nothing is happening. So I dream of it. I shop for it. I dream of what I need for it and add things to my wish list. And I save for it.

The hardest part of moving is the packing. While it’s physically challenging and everything, it’s hard to see your life either go into trash bags, donate boxes, or packed away. Everyone complains about having to put things into boxes then having to unpack it all. Here’s the thing, I look around my room and see it getting emptier and emptier. I know my things are safe. I know I’ll see them again once I unpack them. But I’ve been in the same bedroom for a long time and seeing that all go away? That is hard. It is hard to see things that have been hanging on my wall for years now sitting in a box.

I have a painting my grandfather gave me years ago of a water spout. It’s a beautiful painting, but nothing special to most. It has been hanging by my bed for probably over 15 years. It is something comforting and something that will always be there. It is also something my grandfather gave me and he’s been gone for a while. When that gets put into a box, that will be hard. I know when I get into my house it will be hung carefully near my bed, but until then there will be an empty spot on the wall where it has always hung. It will be one of the last things I pack because it is a comforting presence.

I’m going to keep moving though. If I stop and wallow in everything going on, then I won’t start again. This is all temporary. In a few short months, I’ll be in my house. In six months I’ll be getting ready for graduation. I keep moving because I’m working toward wonderful and amazing things. I’ve worked hard to get where I am, even if it’s later in life than I wanted. I will be a homeowner and I will have my degree. It’ll all be worth it in the end and that’s what’s keeping me going.